Gratefulness

When I'm in the middle of one of life's storms, falling asleep is always the hardest thing to accomplish. As a coach, things that kept me up were; running plays in my head, preparing counter attacks, rehearsing pre-game talks, thinking about how to handle player ot player conflicts, manage the team, travel logistics etc. As a teacher, it was focusing on the details of the lessons and day ahead, managing my time wisely and making sure that one student who needed an extra something, got it. As a mom... well, the list of things I needed to do and the list of things that I was teachign my tiny humans to manage is endless!!!

In order for me to maximize my daily performance, whether I was coaching, teaching, parenting, managing the house, laundry and meals, running my not-for-profit basketball club while taking care of my mother in law battling cancer, learning how to quiet my mind, and restore peace and relaxation became a skill. Read that again. It's a skill.

Quieting your brain is a skill. And as a skill, it must be introduced, taught and practiced.

When my kids were tiny, tiny little (like 5, 3, and 1) my biggest life hack as a mother was activity. With my phys. ed background, I knew physical activity was not only important for their development, but for my mental health too! Dave worked 12-14 hour days running our restoration company, so for the majority of my day I was a solo parent of 3. Rain, snow or sunshine, I made sure we got outside. Movement and fresh air were my allies during our long, cold Manitoba winters.

Sounds idealistic doesn't it? The reality of wrestling three humans into their snow suits and boots is a major event! Once we got outside the first 20-30 mintues of any wintery adventure was easy. The last 10-15? Not so much. Inevitabley, someone would have to pee, want a snack, get tired from trudging through the deep snow and want to "go inside!". When I tried to press on, they'd complain. And honestly, I could handle the cold more than I could handle the complaining! So, one day I turned it into a game. I called it "The Grateful Game".

When I found that the kids were whiny, I would stop and ask them their age.

Mom: Hayden, how old are you?

Hayden: Five

Mom: Avery, how old are you?

Avery: Three

Mom: I want you to tell me 5 things and 3 things that you're grateful for right now.

Hayden/Avery: cheeseburgers, dad's truck, cookies

I let them say whatever was on their minds, and let me tell you, the kids delivered! Avery was always the most creative. Hayden was practical.

As they got older, I learned to steer their answers a bit and teach them about the BIG Basics not everyone has; Mom, Dad, warm house, food, milk, sister, brother, dad's job, church. I also gradually raised the stakes on their contributions.

Mom: Avery give me a number!

or

Mom: Hayden, your number is 7. Go!

Sometimes the lists were long, sometime their number was short. But that wasn't the point. The point was to train their brains in moments of fatigue, despair and exhaustion to quiet, focus on life's gifts and keep moving. I was attempting to wire their brains early for handling adversity.

Personally, I rely on this same method daily. Whether life is good or bad at the moment, I rely on this method to shift my perspective and shut out the noise of the day trailing through my head. Each night, after I turn off my phone, tv or put my book down... I close my eyes and list as many things as I can that I'm grateful for that day. It gives me a laser focus on positive thoughts. My mind can not wonder... it relaxes my brain, and floods it with happy images and the people I love. Keeps me grounded on where I am, and what truly matters most in life. Not the things, but the people.

Give it a try!

Love you, bye.